A healthy relationship is determined by your capability to convey your thoughts, needs, desires, and concerns. Conflicts usually arise from misunderstandings because of the strong emotions that come with the words. The key to effective communication is to be able to express oneself despite the overwhelming emotions one feels.
Here are top 10 ways for more efficient communication:
1. Hold back criticism.
So much talk involves criticisms and stressing what somebody is not doing right. The end result of such auditory attacks is a defensive mate and, ultimately, the relationship downfall. Criticism must be replaced by trying to focus on positively strengthening what your partner is doing right, and presenting constructive criticism on things that could be improved.
2. Own your statements.
Owning your statements will result in it being powerful and will be better heard. Remember to say what you feel by using “I” statements like “I feel sad when you…”. Being responsible for your feelings and standpoints empowers you to make better solutions in that you will be better heard. Even if your mate disagrees with you or understand your viewpoint, he or she cannot blame you for how you feel.
3. Accept feedback.
Effective communication is a give and take. You need to make yourself open to any reaction if you expect your partner to listen to you. Remember, there are three sides to any concern in a relationship: your partner’s standpoint, your standpoint, and the real truth.
4. Be present and be involved.
What you are going to say or how you are going to react during informal or critical conversations with your partner should be the least of your worries. All you have to do is listen and give signals that you are truly attentive and occupied without talking – like keeping eye contact and nodding your head. Likewise, validate your partner’s feelings. You can say “I can see why you are so troubled” or “I’m sorry to hear that you are so angry”. If you can’t say anything, something as plain as, “Thank you for sharing” can really be effective.
Be present and be involved.
5. Give yourself some space when necessary.
Some conversations can be powerful and sometimes it is better not to say anything at all. However, this doesn’t mean that you should just stop dealing with the issue. Recognize that it’s alright to say, “Can I get back with you? I need to think about it,” as a partner should be glad that you want more time to sort things out. But be sure to go back to the conversation at a suitable time and within a sensible time frame.
6. Don’t interrupt.
Don’t interrupt when your partner is talking. Don’t try to be a know-it-all or be indifferent. Remember not to do anything that you would not want your partner to do to you in return in any of your conversations.
7. Mind your tone when you are in a heated discussion.
During heightened conversations, avoid using authoritative, hostile, or mocking tones. Do not belittle or dismiss your partner’s fears or worries.
8. Ask.
People, including your partner, are not mind readers. Ask, if you need something. Don’t assume or just give hints when you want something. You will only end up frustrated if you don’t express yourself and get a different result.
9. Cultivate and express an attitude of gratitude.
Appreciating the small things that usually go unnoticed can help any relationship. Acknowledging the importance of your partner’s daily involvement in making your life easier or more pleasurable will make him or her feel valued and more eager to continue to add to the preservation of the home and the relationship.
10. Remember to always deliver powerful statements (and actions) to express your love for your partner.
Statements of endearment like “I love you”, “You’re so beautiful” or “I find you amazing,” and gestures of love like hugs and kisses, when said randomly can take your partner aback: “What is he up to?”, “What does she want?”. So you must make it a regular habit to express your love both verbally and non-verbally. This is the binding power when other relationship resolutions become more difficult to sustain.
There are many ways to improve a relationship. It only takes the willingness of both partners to keep the relationship as good as it was when it started. Always keep in mind that effective communication is as essential as your commitment to your partner.